Doula Cons and Bhabie Barker Beef
I’m feeling emotional and sentimental this week1, so feel free to skip the RIPs for the normal updates! Also, I made a second sourdough loaf and it did turn out great so who knows, maybe I’ll stick with my trad wife journey.
Let’s get to it!
We lost two of my favorite fictional spies yesterday.
RIP Michelle Trachtenberg
Michelle Trachtenberg passed away yesterday. Most known to me for her portrayal of Harriet M. Welsch in Harriet the Spy.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that I think of Harriet the Spy weekly. When I’m sweeping like maid scene, when I’m cutting a tomato, anytime I use mayo, when I think of therapy, when I see people in LA with cupping therapy marks on their backs, when I see the weird old elevator in my building, anytime I see Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robots or a gravy boat, when light flashes through the green bottle vase on my desk and I think of that imaginationland of a backyard they visit, when I’m thinking mean thoughts and remember the insult exchanges in the bathroom. Speaking of, I think of that bathroom sink and towel most times I wash my hands in public. I think of the movie when I see a lot of stray cats in one place, when I see Vanessa Chester on Instagram or J. Smith Cameron in anything, when I spy on fellow coffee shop patrons, and of course- when I write in my notebook.
So many things in my life can be directly traced to that film- from the tattoo on the bottom of my foot (which is not related to the movie but also not fully unrelated) to the years I spent as nanny, to the way I’ve spent my life observing everything around me and writing it down, to share as a comedian, writer, or just keep for myself.
Rosie O’Donnell as Golly and Michelle Trachtenberg as Harriet shaped me from a very young age. I don’t think anyone could’ve done Harriet like Michelle, in a similar way that I think of Mara Wilson as Matilda or Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister. Harriet the Spy is a wonderful book on its own, but Michelle Trachtenberg gave the character a soul, a grit, a fervor that brought her to life in the most beautiful way. She was one of the first little girls I saw on screen who was messy- at times mean, opinionated or wrong, but always curious and always smart.
I knew the impact that Michelle as Harriet had on me, but seeing the social media response, I really see how that role seemed to have defined a generation of girlhood for people my age. If she’d never had another role, that one would’ve been enough- but she continued to show up in some of my childhood faves like Ice Princess and 17 Again, and as villain-we-love-to-hate Georgina Sparks in Gossip Girl. I know it’s insane that I’ve never seen a full episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I know her role on that show left a huge mark on people, too. Her death comes so early, at only 39, but I’m comforted knowing she’ll live on as the character she played and thankful to what she brought to it so that little girls for future generations will also find themselves in Harriet.
RIP Gene Hackman
Okay, you know I was a weird kid because you wanna know who also had a huge impact on me by portraying a literary character on screen? Gene Hackman as Sam Cayhall in The Chamber. I know, I know- it’s one of his lowest-rated movies and Gene Hackman has been in most of the actually great Grisham adaptations- but from 4th-6th grade I read every John Grisham book the library had, and saw all the adaptations Blockbuster could rent. The Chamber was for some reason, the second adaptation I’d seen- after The Client, and it was wayyyy too complex for a child to understand. But I think seeing it before I hit the decade mark of my life honestly informed so much of the way I view the world with empathy. Oddly enough, as melodramatic and silly as the Grisham stuff can be, Gene Hackman playing a villain, a racist, murderous klansman, who eventually repented for his sins was really formative!
Of course, since I’ve seen Gene Hackman shine in other roles with a range that was rarely matched- from Heartbreakers to Hoosiers. My favorites include the straight-man humor he brought to one of the best comedies of all time, The Birdcage (this delivery of “..what?”) and his frantic paranoia in The Conversation. I could really go on and on because despite having retired from acting 20 years ago, Gene Hackman’s career is legendary. He’ll always be a true icon of film. The circumstances surrounding his death, and the death of his wife and dog who were also found in their New Mexico home, are still unclear. It was reported early that there was a suspected carbon monoxide leak but the Santa Fe gas company reported no findings. Really bizarre situation and hopefully their family will get some answers in this tragic story.
What I’m Listening To
The Con
I’ve been getting outside now that the weather’s great in LA, so not watching as much TV2 . However, long walks outside means podcasts! I took a break from my normal comedy and reality tv podcasts to listen to The Con: Kaitlyn's Baby and it was absolutely fascinating. It's about a woman who conned over 50 doulas into helping her with a traumatic birth and pregnancy, only to find out that she had never been pregnant at all. The story is so deep and so crazy. It might be triggering if you've had ex with infant loss, but is such a well done podcast and a wild ride.
Kaitlyn’s Baby is the second season of BBC/CBC’s The Con so I’m currently listening through the first season, Love, Janessa which is about internet scammers, and the hunt for a woman called Janessa Brazil, whose photos are the most commonly used photos in catfishing scams. It's also very intriguing and at some points has me on the side of Ghanaian scammers, so I'm enjoying the first season as well.
What’s in the News
The SAG Awards
Timotheé Chalamet, which my phone autocorrects to calamari so I like to call him Timmy Calamari, won a SAG award this week and gave a great acceptance speech after winning Best Actor, but I can’t stop thinking about this tweet about it lol it’s so true.
The SAG Awards also gave us this red carpet pairing! They’ve frequented awards shows together, but I always love being reminded of the decades long friendship between Chessy and Meredith Blake.
Another Nice Speech
In the vein of awards shows and friendships, Jessie Eisenberg gave a really touching acceptance speech at the Film Independent Spirit Awards, where he thanked Emma Stone for her support of his writing as a filmmaker in his articles with McSweeney’s, saying “She was definitely, and still (is) the most famous person I know, and yet also like the most dedicated to encouraging me as a writer”. Support your friends!!!
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All Roads Lead to Bravo
Tilda Swinton introduced Countess Luann at her London cabaret show!! Mike White also apparently instructed Parker Posey’s White Lotus family to watch Southern Charm! Okay now try to tell me my interests aren’t high brow!!
Not in My Kentwood
Millie Bobbie Brown is rumored to be in talks to portray Britney Spears in a biopic. Noooooo thanks! This is the one time I’ll support AI filmmaking and I'd like the together interview clips and footage from Crossroads and allow her to pay herself.
I vs E
Alex Cooper and Alix Earle are on bad terms, after apparently Alix ditched Call Her Daddy’s Unwell Podcast Network, and Alex got ahead of the story and made it look like they dropped Alix, not the other way around.
Bhad Bhabie and Alabama Barker Beef
Okay, I understand that those two names are so insane but this beef is my whole FYP. I made a TikTok about this, but the whole situation would sound so insane if you were talking to somebody in 2016 about the “catch me outside girl”" and the daughter of Travis Barker getting into a rap beef in Calabasas, but that's where we are. I had heard that they got into it because Bhad Bhabie alleged that Alabama hooked up with her baby daddy, who seems like a piece of shit anyway, but she made a diss track about Alabama, who then came back with her own version of a diss track so then Bhad Bhabie completely destroyed Alabama Kendrick Lamar-style with her song “Ms.Whitman”. She released the music video this week and TikTok is going crazy. Guys, the song is a(n explicit) bop3. It’s like actually an earworm and so good- especially can you consider that Alabama had a whole team behind her, and a whole group of writers and that Bhad Bhabie collaborated with one guy and made her track, which also sampled a Kanye West beat as a throw to Alabama's Kardashian connections.
If you have absolutely no idea who these two people are (LUCKY YOU!) I'll give you a rundown. Bhad Bhabie is Danielle Bregoli, who was featured on a 2016 episode of Dr. Phil as an out-of-control child and she screamed at the audience “Catch me outside how bout dat??” and call them all hoes, an instant meme. She was able to translate that 15 seconds of fame to a pretty successful social media and rap career. She became friends with Alabama Barker, who is “famous” because she's the daughter of Travis Barker and her stepmother is Kourtney Kardashian. Alabama is a Calabasas-raised culture vulture who regularly live streams and makes TikToks using a heavy blaccent. Now, Danielle also appropriates black culture, it’s what she built her brand on, but I saw a TikToker say that Bhad Bhabie is like that one white girl in school that always hung out with a group of black kids and will beat your ass, and I thought that was very funny and accurate. Anyway, the girls are fighting but it seems like this last song really put an end to it. There's no way Alabama can come back from that, unless step-grandma Kris Jenner decides to finally step in.
Alright, that’s it for this week!! Love you for reading.
Which is perhaps why I was so harsh last week? Sorry, Tinx!
Except duh, Love is Blind- I’ll share opinions next week but as always, hate The Lacheys.
According to TikTok bop also means porn star now? I can’t keep up- as a millenial I will continue to use it for a good song.