An Oscars Special Edition!
I actually watched The Oscars last night! It is kind of crazy that the ceremony happens down the street from me. I went to an 11am screening of All About Eve, a movie I’d never seen before, and it was the perfect movie for Oscar day. Bette Davis is phenomenal! The film won Best Picture in 1950, and the subject matter is so spot-on for Hollywood, even 75 (!!) years later. I’m always baffled at how movies from that time can feel so modern. It did make me sigh a little thinking at how cinema quality has diminished so much from telling these sorts of stories to where we are now.
Leaving The Egyptian theatre, I could see the red carpet set up on Hollywood Boulevard and tinted SUVs lining up. Earlier that day, I’d seen a man passed out on the street with his whole entire ass out, so a very full-circle Los Angeles day!
Anyways, I have lots of thoughts about The Academy Awards and by Thursday I will have forgotten them all so I got up two hours early to send out a special early edition1 of Perk Culture.
The Ceremony
I thought Conan did a fantastic job hosting. I’ve seen mixed reviews, and by that I mean angry woke white guys on Twitter (I refuse to call it “X”) saying it was”97% unfunny”. Maybe I just like Conan because he gave me one of the funniest things to ever happen and my comfort clip that I watch until I cry anytime I’m sad, but I liked him as the host! I enjoyed the little bits, including Adam Sandler wearing an Aviator Nation hoodie. I’ve seen people saying him wearing a sky blue hoodie and getting close to Timotheé Chalamet in his yellow suit was a subtle nod to Ukraine and to me that feels bigger than a Sally O’Malley streeeeeeetch. It was a simple coincidence, if that even. I stand with Ukraine but c’mon…we’re getting ridiculous with the fashion conspiracies.
Now, I’m gonna try to be as nice as I can be here but the James Bond thing was a huge miss. I thought maybe the sound mixing was just bad, a mic error, acoustics, something wrong with the raw vocals, anything to explain why Doja Cat and Raye sounded like bad American Idol auditions, but then Queen Latifah showed up later and proved the sound system was working just fine! Her range is fit for the stage and not everyone’s is. It’s hard to live up to the Bond song legacies and we aren’t all Adele, but I wish they’d helped these women out a little. I always support using the auto tune if that’s an option you need. I use the bumpers when I bowl sometimes! Also why was Margaret Qualley there? She’s stunning and a great actress but she doesn’t have the mysterious sex appeal of a bond girl and it felt like an odd choice. Plus the didn’t even reveal the new James Bond???
Also, I wasn’t happy Michelle Trachtenberg was left out of the “In Memoriam” sequence.
The Speeches
I appreciated that Sean Baker and Mikey Madison thanked the sex worker community in their acceptance speeches, but it really magnified that nobody from Emilia Pérez thanked the trans community.
The only couple I’d enter a throuple with, Jazz Charton and Kieran Culkin, were adorable and perfect, of course. I will say, it does make me a liiiittle uncomfortable that Kieran acts like all he has to do is just bob his head like I Dream of Jeannie and Jazz will pop out a baby. Fertility can be complicated and Idk their situation but it’s less cute to me that he makes these huge public requests for children. But alas, I love them and would volunteer to be the surrogate for that fourth baby if they asked. Kieran’s brother Macaulay was at the Vanity Fair party and I wished I could’ve seen a reunion but I have to accept that they’re not close and that’s their business.
The Emilia Pérez song acceptance was sooooo cringe. Like me when I was 22 and they were trying to close the karaoke bar but I refused to give back the mic so my bestie and I could sing “Goodbye, Earl” one more time.
And of course, Adrien Brody. Cringiest of cringe. I posted on my story it was like when I’m trying to tell a serious story on edibles. I appreciate he wanted to highlight issues of anti-semitism, but the message got lost an hee came off rude, egomaniacal, entitled. I saw Halle Berry surprise kiss him on the red carpet, like he did to her when he won his first Oscar, making light of a situation that was also horribly cringe the last time he won!
I also hate hate hate that Karla Sofia Gascón robbed the Best Actor and Best Actresses from getting praise for their individual performances. They all deserved that small moment of recognition and her racist ass deprived them of it.
The Films
Sing Sing was robbed!!! Best film of the year and Colman deserved his flowers for that. I didn’t see The Brutalist (I’m sorry I just can’t make myself be bummed for three hours!), Conclave, The Substance (can’t do body horror), A Complete Unknown (but I want to!), Nickel Boys (but I’ve seen that one shot from above about 150 times now), I’m Still Here (did anyone see that? Is it good?). I enjoyed Dune: Part Two (where were Zendaya and Florence Pugh!?), I loved Wicked but knew it wouldn’t win, wrote about my feelings about Emilia Pérez, and that left Anora, which was expected to sweep. I liked Anora, didnt’ love it, but I like that an indie movie got some praise.
With Anora winning everything, including Best Actress, I felt so bad for J.Lo because remember when she really thought Hustlers was gonna win her an Oscar? Anora is very Hustlers-coded if you cut out most of the plot and substituted it with accents and vibes. I did see someone say that movies about sex workers only get praise when white men tell stories about white women and I don’t necessarily agree with that, but I see the point.
The nominees were weird to me in general. Like Anora won best picture but Challengers wasn’t even nominated at all?! Makes no sense to me, but happy to see Mikey Madison and indie film winning!
The Fashion
Okay here we go I have so many thoughts. Keep in mind I’m writing this in sweatpants that are 3 sizes too big and a free promo movie shirt with a chocolate stain on it so who the hell am I?? I am also including the Vanity Fair party because that’s where the fashion truly thrives. Here are my thoughts, broken down into categories.
I ran out of space to add the ones I liked and the ones I’d like if it lost the bow- but maybe I’ll send them later this week. There were a lot that I just felt like were meh-okay so I’m not giving them space.
Thanks so much for reading! I’ll thank you all in my Oscar speech!
Remember that show with Kyle Chandler? NOBODY ELSE DOES BUT I THINK OF IT AT LEAST WEEKLY.